I just want to give everyone a heads up about our newest testing. We are excited as I know all of you will be. If you remember, earlier this year I did some tests to try to make gluten-free bread crap acceptable. Now we are going to test several ways to make liver crap a little less disgusting. I have 12 different miniature recipes to try.

They are all set and in the refrigerator to marinade, dissolve, vaporize or eat the pan away; and tomorrow I will place them in the oven for a period of time determined by suggestions on YouTube, and then both my lovely wife and I will conduct the tasting.

Here is the interesting part. For some strange reason, she likes the disgusting stuff, whereas I do not; so there will be a Dani scale of 1-10 and a Dwaine scale of 1 to 10. I really doubt I will need any number above three, but will say ten so the two scales match.

I am sincerely confident that if I can come up with a recipe that is in the 5-6 range, then I can send in the results and perhaps become famous for finding a way to get kids to eat their liver instead of sending it off to hungry people elsewhere. So watch for further notices.

New addition seen at a car lot in Victoria.

Click the flag to the left.

That’s what my wife calls me.

I would not call myself that, but I am a patriotic guy who loves my country. Even with all the BS taking place now, the country is still worth loving, which includes its flag. The Government, not so.

A few months ago, I noticed the flags on a bank in my town were in bad shape. So I took a picture of them and mailed them (snail mail) to the bank. I was a little rude with them, because they are a bank I detest. They have money oozing out the wazoo to feed their shareholders and not their customers.

The envelope had my name and return address, but no contact information is put on the letter inside, because I really don’t want a reply. But if the recipients do use my address to send a reply, what they say will tell me everything I want to know about them.

So, I am starting a new section showing the flags I have seen, and have sent mail to, and will also add the follow-ups. Just click on the flag to the left. Let me know if any of you have trouble accessing it.

I found one more slice of the bread in my refrigerator that I needed to finish. It had been in the refrigerator for at least three months so I expected to pull it out and see it covered with mold. I did not. I guess it is correct to say, even mold will not consume this crap. A certain individual in my house will not throw out food unless it has mold on it, so I was forced to eat it myself. So, the best way to tolerate the bread, is by toasting it first.

Gluten-free bread does not toast well. What I had was the last slice of the bread that I made in the bread maker, (which I shall never do again). So what you see below is the bread before toasting. The line on the bread is from the paddle of the bread maker.

Now here is the slice after toasting for 4-5 minutes in the toaster.

As you can see, there is little evidence of it being toasted, but being in the toaster for that length of time, does cause it to be very hot. So any butter placed on it is quickly melted. But . . . the butter just sits on top. The bread does not absorb it. See below.

I put plum jelly on it to help add something to the taste.

But as usually with the trait of this bread, it is basically a flavor thief. So, to be able to taste the jelly, I had to glob it on.

I always thought it would be nice to publish a paper in one of the scientific journals of our time, so I will gather all these posts and edit them into one interesting study and submit it to Scientific American or the AAAS (The American Association for the Advancement of Science) which has many journals of all sciences. I will let you know when my work gets published.

In continuing the quest to find some way to tolerate gluten-free bread, we try it with an age old, time tested delicacy, PB&J with cold beer.

As is well known throughout the civilized world, peanut butter and jelly on toast, (got to be toast) goes hand and hand like two peas in a pod with cold beer. (Gotta be cold) So I tried it with the glute-free crap and have discovered something quite unique. Not only does gluten-free bread have no redeeming flavor of its own, but it actually hides the taste of the peanut butter and jelly. This came as a shock to me.

But there is good news here, I am told that eating gluten-free bread is no longer necessary. I cannot explain it, but I will not argue with it. So, I still have some gluten-free bread to use up, so maybe I can find one more recipe. I know people are standing by with abated breath for the next test, so I will find something quickly.

PB&J on gluten-free bread is 5 out of 10 on the Dwaine scale.

Recipe #2

So, this recipe uses delicious sausage that was cooked on the grill yesterday by an amazing Brazilian cook.

I took a slice of gluten-free bread and placed a layer of cheddar chess on it and then added the sausage, sliced in half. (not necessary for the recipe)

What many people don’t know is gluten-free bread is different than normal bread, not just because its lack of taste, but it is too stiff to fold in half. To do so without it breaking, you have to heat it in the microwave first. Then I can fold the bread in half and use the new Glute-Free Bread Jig by Dwaine^© until the bread cools down, thus holding its shape.

Now I can add the additional condiments before consuming. One of them is a favorite cheese we buy – Cheese Dip by Gordo, found in many fine supermarkets.

After adding a pickle and a slob of Gordo’s cheese dip, the finished product looks enticing. The olives are not part of the sandwich. They are placed there for visual affects, because we do not have parsley.

The first several bites are better than expected, 

Taste rating based on the Dwaine scale: 6 out of 10.  Enjoy!