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Nine Yards … and counting.

Nine Yards … and counting.

Author Archives: dknolte

The battle lines have been drawn …

22 Saturday Sep 2012

Posted by dknolte in Uncategorized

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… and the war is on!

There are those who see us only as a source for theft, who will do what they can to steal from those of us who work hard for what we have.  They are the ones who wish us harm and will smile at us while planning their next attack.

I love my Saturday mornings, when I can sleep late and then sit out on the patio with my coffee and cinnamon roll.  Afterwards, I will sit in the sun with my eyes closed, soaking in the sunshine.  This morning, as I sat in the solitude, I heard a rustle in the trees.  Opening my eyes, I quickly saw where branches were still moving, but nothing that caused it.  Closed my eyes again and a minute later, more rustle.  This time I was quick enough, and saw that my greatest fear has been realized.  The monkeys have returned.

When we first arrived in Addis, one of the first Saturday mornings we sat outside with our coffee and breakfast, we had the little critters show up.  We found them cute and lovable, even getting them to feed out of our hands.  If you remember the pictures we posted of Terese feeding one.  While they gathered around to welcome us to the neighborhood, others ran through the flower beds eating anything that was not green, while the younger ones jump in and out of the trees.  We did notice there was unusual commotion elsewhere in the yard, but it wasn’t until they moved on, did we notice the debauchery that had taken place in our yard.  Terese felt bad Monday morning when Michael, the gardener showed up and almost fainted at what was left of his garden.

I have to admit, there was a bit of guilt at letting this happen, because Michael is very proud of his work, as he should be.   I don’t remember if I blamed it on Terese, or she blamed it on me, but it was at this time we realized, the monkeys are no longer welcomed in our yard.

If one or two comes to our yard and stays high up in the tree eating the seeds that grow on it, it would be no problem.  But if one or two show up, others follow and before you know it, they are having a block party.  They are not dumb.  They have seen us go in and out of our house, and realize the handle on the door has something to do with opening it.  One had the audacity to come into our kitchen while Terese was doing dishes and attempt to eat an apple, still wrapped in cellophane, knocking over the trashcan in the process.

Last year when I battled these little degenerates, I first tried using the water hose to drive them away.  The only place it drove them was higher in the trees.  They would go just beyond the water stream and no further, as if they wanted to feel the mist on a hot day.  Soon I found a water squirter in Michael’s room.  One of these things you fill with water and press the plunger.  It sent water higher, but still not enough.  In the meantime, Shawn, the gardener next door would just throw rocks at them.  I tried that, but it just gave the idiots something to laugh about.  I may even have heard a snicker from my wife.

Notice the difference in this picture from the ones above.  Here she’s trying to kill a monkey.

It just got worse.  The more I battled them, the more would show up.  It’s as if one ran back to the others and said, “Hey guys, the idiot with the water hose wants to play with us again!!”  They stayed just out of reach and at times would hunker down behind the back wall of the yard, and send one of the youngest ones to slowly raise its head above the wall to see if I was still there.  If I felt they were all gone, or if I went back inside to get more coffee, when I returned, the whole troop would be bouncing through the trees again.

So, I knew something else had to be used.  I contacted some people back in the States and had a secret weapon sent to me.  It had to be disassemble to make it unrecognizable by any Government inspector, and shipped to me in three separate containers.  After weeks of anticipation, the weaponry finally arrived.  I quickly hid in the back room giggling while assembling the slingshot.  I knew I had ‘em now!

Okay, now I am a humanitarian of sorts.  At that time, I didn’t really want to kill the little bastards, just drive them away.  So I ordered some rock salt to use as ammo, just in case any of the projectiles gets under their skin, it wouldn’t cause an infection.  But it took only a few shots to realize it disperses too quickly and will not get to the target.  So I came up with an excellent idea, if I say so myself.  One word – paintball.  These are the little balls with paint inside that are used all over the country in mock battles.  They are usually shot with paintball guns using highly compressed air.  I ordered a small pack of 50 caliber paintballs as a test.  This Saturday morning, I had my opportunity to test them.

So, as I mentioned above, the monkeys have returned.  I quickly headed in the house, grabbed the weapon and ammo, and went out onto one of the upper balconies.  One lone critter climbed up high in a tree, and sat in a clearing.  I pulled back the strong elastic tubing of the weapon, aimed and released.  In less than a heartbeat, the yellow paintball pierced through the air and hit the little sucker right in the chest!  It evidently did not break, probably due to the thick fur as I heard the ball fall to the roof of the little building below and roll away.  But I know it stung, as the monkey yelled out, “Holy bananas!” and quickly disappeared down and did not return.  Not even to see what the heck happened like they normally would.

Normally when I try to fight them, many show up to watch the fiasco, but it was about 5 minutes before any of them came around.  I’m thinking the one I hit ran back to the others saying, “Hey, don’t go in that tree over there, because if you do your chest will hurt like hell!”

Several things have come out of this.

  1. The monkeys came
  2. The monkeys were driven away.
  3. The monkeys will return.
  4. … and I will be ready.
  5. As I type this, it is now Dwaine: 1, and Monkeys: 0.

A Conversation with Hywät

19 Wednesday Sep 2012

Posted by dknolte in Uncategorized

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Hywät

With Terese still in the States adoring her new little grandson, I am here in Addis having to fend for myself. The past few weeks have been off and on with stress and it tends to add up, especially recently.  The other night, I didn’t feel like cooking anything and certainly did not want to get in the car and idle through the traffic to a restaurant, so I headed up the hill on foot to the Family Restaurant to get something that resembles a hamburger. Just as I walked up to the place, I made a quick left turn on instinct and went to the place next door instead, the “Italian” food place where Hywät works.

I went there the other day and she was not there, which kinda disappointed me. But that night she was.  I realized, the only reason I went there was to have a good conversation with her, as it’s not the pizza.  I guess my psyche knew I needed a good dose of humor.

Her first reaction did not seem too happy, like she was upset because we have not been in to eat lately, because usually she chews our butts out right away for not showing up. But I clambered up on a bar stool and ordered a pizza and beer.  Within a minute, she was back to old herself.

Again, on these conversations, I catch only bits and pieces of them, just enough to catch the gist.  And sometimes, I have no idea what she says, but because of her laughter I know it’s got to be funny, so I end up laughing anyway.

She has a slight nasal tone to her voice, which seems to fit with her thin frame. Also, as with all locals, when they say Ethiopian, the “th” becomes simply “t”. As in E’tiopian.

After some light talking, I asked her, “How old are you?   23?”

“Yes, I’m 23.”

“When’s your birthday?”

“March 16th.”

“I have a sister whose birthday is March 15th.”

She smiles and states, “That’s only one day away!”

“Yeah, and my mother’s birthday is March 18th!  She is very old.  When she goes outside, buzzards sit down beside her.”

“That’s two days away!” (the buzzard comment went over her head)

She asked, “When is your birthday?”

I told her the month I was born and said, “I am very old. Buzzards follow me around, too.”

She spoke something to the little girl helping her behind the bar and said, “Her birthday is in September.”  (The buzzard comment still didn’t work)

I replied, “September is a good month to be born in.  Terese’s birthday is in September and so is her new little Grandbaby and one of her daughters!”

And she confirmed, “Yes, September is a good month!”

Then returning to March, “E’tiopian football player is same birthday as mine!”

“You two the same age?”

“Yes, born on same day.”

“Is he very thin like you?”  I used my hands and pressed in my sides to get a thinner waist. (it didn’t work)

She laughed and said, “No”.  Then running her hands along the outside of her face, she said, “But he’s pretty like me!” and laughed more.  Then added, “My new year’s plan is to get fat.”

Yeah, right.

Ethiopia just had their new year, so I asked her if she had a nice dinner. She told me she spent it with her mother and grandfather, and started explaining to me about baking some “E’tiopian culture” bread that you place something on it, (I think she was saying some kind of chicken) and you break it apart with your hands. Sounds nice.  And they put red pepper on it.

I asked, “Is the pepper hot?”

“Not hot for E’tiopians, hot for you.”

I asked her if she is a good cook.

She pointed to the back area of the restaurant and chuckled, “When the cook leaves outside (goes home) at 3 o’clock E’tiopian time, I go back there and make pizza and spaghetti.”

“What time is 3 o’clock Ethiopian in my time?”

“Hmmm, 9 o’clock at night, and E’tiopian year is 2005.”

“Not 2012?”

“No.”

“So which calendar is right?”

“E’tiopian!”

Somewhere in the conversation, I called her by name, because having to look it up the other day, I remembered it and I wanted to use it.

“I think for a long time you forgot my name!”

“Nah, I remembered it,” I proudly stated.  “I told my mother about you, how you make me laugh. Next time I come, I will bring a camera with me so I can take your picture for her.”

“Okay”, she chuckled.

I think I slept better that night.

Stuck in Mauritius

11 Tuesday Sep 2012

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As I start writing this, I’m currently stuck on the island of Mauritius down by the southern end of Africa and cannot return until Tuesday the 4th.

This trip was planned about a month ago, then on August 16, the Ethiopian Orthodox Patriarch, Abune Paulos died, leaving the country in mourning.  Then 4 days later, the Prime Minister, Meles Zenawi died causing a ripple in the government which spilled out into the streets.  We were scheduled to fly back to Addis on Sept 1st, but because of the massive influx of people flying in and out for the funeral, along with a few demonstrations at various points in the city, and add the traffic, both foot and vehicle, it would have been a nightmare to return at that time.

When the head of a church dies, there is sadness and mourning imbedded in the prayers of the people. When a leader of a country dies, there are mixed emotions throughout the populace.  I found it most interesting to get opinions of some of the local people who grew up in Addis.  One individual told me he was a despot who murdered women and children.  I reluctantly listened to him, and was unsure how accurate his beliefs were, because all leaders of a country who are hated, “kill women and children”.

Some said he did good because he helped drive out the Communist back in the 90’s.  One simply said, it’s neither good nor bad but the will of God.  Either way, I’m stuck here until Tuesday.

So we decided to move to a resort further up on the coast of the island, since we were through with our work and had Labor Day off.  We are having to pay a little out of our pockets because the price is slightly above per-diem, but we figure it’s worth it.

I have been to places that are in the crotch of the world, and places like this that it is a once in a lifetime trip for many.  So, as I sit here on my balcony writing this, I’m listening to the waves of the Indian Ocean, literally a stone’s throw away.  One of my co-workers commented last night, people in the States save their money for years to vacation in the places we work at.

While here on Mauritius, I take advantage of the beef in the country.  In Addis the beef is tasty but tough.  Here on the island, the beef is flown in from South Africa and is grain fed like in the States.  So I make sure to get my belly full of tender beef while here.  Also, in Addis, fish is flown in since the country is land-locked, but here, it’s fresh.

The first morning we were here, I sat in the open air lobby after breakfast checking email.  The waitress from the little bar nearby brought me some little cheese chips to munch on along with my drink.  While seated, a little fathered creature flew onto the table and quickly plucked one of the chips out of the cup and disappeared.  This took place so fast, I was unsure what it actually was.  Afterwards, I heard a tapping sound near my feet, and looked down and saw the thief banging the chip on the floor to break it into smaller pieces.

So, I set a chip out on the edge of the table, already broken into beak-sized portions and waited with the camera of my cell phone.   Within seconds, another critter showed up and took the bait, as seen below.  Afterwards, I sat back in the chair reading email and casually had my hand hanging down off the chair with the chip I was eating, when it too disappeared from my fingers.  The little thief!

During the day, we decided to go further north about 10 kilometers to the little resort town of Gran Baie and be tourists.  I bought a few items for my wife and we ate at some of the outside dining areas.  One thing I have learned while traveling to other countries, always be wary of anything that is placed on your table in a very small bowl, that is green.  Always taste it very carefully before indulging.  I should have taken a picture of one, but I think my camera would have melted.

The town is a resort area, but not the type you see many places.  The tourists are not the type you see walking around with enamored looks on their faces, with cameras and fanny packs hanging off of them, but mostly young people who look like they swam to get to the island.  No cameras and fanny packs, but sandals and backpacks.

We took a taxi from the resort we were staying at, but the $30 for the ten kilometer trip was too high for us, since they service the resort where many wealthy people stayed, they knew they could get those prices.  So, after doing that once, we found out we could walk a quarter mile and catch a bus to Gran Baie for 28 rupees (93 cents).  It took much longer, but it was also worth the sightseeing along the bumpy ride.

Remember a few months ago, I posted a picture on Facebook of two beautiful women I met on a beach on Mauritius?  I had the fortunate opportunity to visit with them again when their parents had a going away party since they were leaving the island for their next post.  Sam, the oldest, plans to be in the Marine Corps when she’s old enough and wants to be a surgeon afterwards.  She has taken full advantage of life on the island, even learning to dive in the waters and swim with the dolphins.  The little one with the curly hair, Ashley, wants to be a dentist.  She’s sure of it.  I had most fun talking to them.  These two little ones just love life.  Their little sister, Calley, was not feeling well and slept on the couch with her favorite book imbedded in her arms.

The continuation of life depends on our youth.  They are the ones who take over the society we hand them.  I only wish it could be better than when we received it, for I am convinced we have not done well.  But I remind myself at times that life is still good because kids are a part of it.  Island or no island, if kids are involved, life is always good.

D.

 

 

The Pizza Masters

09 Sunday Sep 2012

Posted by dknolte in Uncategorized

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I’m currently working on a piece about Mauritius, but had to mention something else first.  Pizzas are not a specialty in Ethiopia, but we can go to the Hilton Hotel and get some fairly good ones.  While Terese is in the States with her new Grandson, I decided to have pizza tonight.  As I sat eating, a young mother came in with two little girls, who I guess was probably 6 and about 4.  The younger one had frizzy hair like that associated with a child that never sits still.

The Pizza Master creates his pizzas on a marble counter for all to see, which has a small shelf with some decorative items on it in front.  When the two little girls arrived, a waitress came and moved the table aside.  Then the girls dragged chairs from one of the tables over to the counter.  The older one knelt in her chair with arms crossed, resting on the counter, watching the Pizza Master, while the little frizzy headed one, stood in her chair watching with her elbows on the counter supporting her head.

Now I have to assume these little ones are regulars, since the waitress knew exactly what was needed as soon as they entered, but I was intrigued how the girls watched pizzas being made without reaching out to play with something on the counter.  I could not imagine my Grandsons sitting that still.

But then, the Pizza Master dropped a ball of dough in front of each girl along with a small wooden rolling pin.  They flattened the dough out, rolling and pushing here and there, then after a few minutes he added sauce.  The older girl used a spoon to carefully spread hers around, and the little one started out with a spoon, but then resorted to her hands.

Soon, a pile of cheese was added, then other ingredients were place within their reach.  After the two girls were satisfied with their creations, they clambered down and sat back at the table with Mommy.  I didn’t stay long enough to watch them receive their pizzas, but I can’t help thinking how proud they must be when their finished handiwork is delivered out of the brick oven, onto their plates.

You Make Me Laugh

22 Wednesday Aug 2012

Posted by dknolte in Uncategorized

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Hywät

Several years ago, when we were employed at the American Embassy in Moscow, Russia, my wife worked in the Consular section with several local Russians.  During a casual conversation, one of the women she worked with said something humorous and Terese laughingly replied, “You’re crazy!”  The woman suddenly became defensive and was most upset, because she understood the term “crazy” as what she read in the dictionary.  I believe it took some time for her to understand, we Americans don’t use the dictionary for our speech.

Back a few years further, when I worked in the airbase at Kandahar, Afghanistan, the base was essentially a small city with about 4000-5000 people.   The base employed people from the Slavic countries to work in the shops, including the barber shops.  The shop I went to, being closest to my tent had a Russian woman who did a good job on my noggin.  One evening while she was trimming my beard, I asked her the Russian word for beard.  What she told me was some long word that I would in no way remember.  I don’t recall the full conversation we had, but I made the comment that she was silly.  She became very defensive and stated, she was not a clown!  There were several other attempts at words that she also found offensive, until I simply stated, “You make me laugh.”  It was at this point, as she stood with a pair of scissor not far from my soft neck, that she was not only satisfied with that statement, but I sensed it made her happy, because “she made me laugh”.

That is one of those unusual times in life you do not forget.

We have a very dear friend we love who has a special laugh that is distinctively hers.  If she is in a crowded room, you will know it.  She is a California blonde we met while working in Moscow, and it’s enjoyable to be around her because her laughter is contagious.  No way can you talk to her without you, yourself laughing.  I can say something off the wall and she will burst out in her song of joy.  When that happens, it makes us laugh.

Near our house, there is a small restaurant on the hill that is supposed to be Italian.  Suffice to say, they do sell pizzas and pasta, but Italian?  I’m not so sure.  Sometimes, I will go there and order a few pizzas to go, and wait at the bar with a beer.  There is a little girl who usually waits on us, that I believe is so thin, if you made her stand in the flat open fields of the Texas Panhandle, the wind would make her vibrate.  I enjoy talking to her, because her laughter is embedded in her words.  Mostly, it’s an ironic laugh, like she sees the humor in everything she says.  And her laughter makes me laugh.

She has told me her name numerous times, probably thinking I’m senile for asking repeatedly, but the truth is, unless I see it in writing I will not remember it.  I do know her mother gave her the name which means “Life” in Amharic, the Ethiopian language.  So, excuse me a moment while I jump on the Internet and find the Amharic word for “Life”.

… okay.  Her name is “Hywät”.  I think.  I found several words and this sounds familiar.

Hywät is going to University to study nursing and currently works part time in the emergency room at one of the hospitals in Addis.  So while waiting for my take home pizzas, I like to start talking to her about her schooling and her job.  I find it enjoyable to speak to the young people, especially quizzing them on subjects they like.  My favorite is asking them the speed of light.

Now, understand, there is a language barrier between the two of us, but she does speak English, perhaps better than me.  Trouble is her heavy Ethiopian accent.  Without my wife with me, I have trouble even understanding the British, Australians and Canadians; so when talking to Hywät, I catch only every few words, but it’s enough to get the gist of what she says.

I usually ask her about the people she treats in the Emergency ward, and I will do my best to remember what she has told me in the past.

I asked her if she gets woozy with the sight of blood.  With her usual chuckle, she told me the first time she assisted in an operation, she started to pass out, but the doctor told her, “No!  Get back to work!”  She said that cured her.  “Is no problem now.”

I once asked her if she ever delivered a baby.  She replied back incredulously, that she’s never had a baby, and not even married.  I said, “No, have you delivered a baby?” and I even used my hands to imitate delivering a baby, which I don’t even remember how I did it.  She replied with another laugh, NO, NO!!

She told me how she helped a woman who was about to give birth, and she felt so sorry for her that she herself began to cry, and laughingly added, it made the patient start crying also.

I asked her if she has to sew people up, again using my hand gestures to indicate sewing.  “Yes, I suture people.  A man came in and I suture his head.”  Then she added, “Not brain, just head.”

Whew!  That’s good!

But what I am getting to is something she told me and Terese the other night.  Terese has been gone so long, that Hywät misses her.  She told me, “Your wife is good. She has respect for all people.”  I replied, yes she does.  I was surprised that she noticed that in the short times we visited with her.  So, I promised her that Terese will be with me the next time I come.

So Terese joined me the other night, and while we talked to her about her school and medical work, she mentioned that her mother, who has Diabetes, has to have regular injections.  But now Hywät gives her the injections.  Then she stated, “My mother tells her friends, `I don’t need hospital now, because my daughter is nurse and gives me injections.’  Then Hywät smiled and said, “When my mother says that, I am very happy!”

I like that.  Again, one of those things that stays with you.  Now, let’s go the same direction but different path.

Throughout the past 10, 15 or 20 years, however long the Internet has been public, I have received many of these silly questionnaires that you are suppose to fill out and send to 10 other people or your pants will burst into flames.  You’ve seen them.  What is your favorite color, song, movies, movie star, ice cream flavor, blah, blah, etc., … ad nauseam …

Well, once I had one of those sent to me that actually had a good question.  “What is your favorite sound?”  I have two.  One is the sound a baby makes when the little one is cooing.  The other is my mother’s laughter.  Whenever I visit with my mother, either in person or the phone, I often find myself trying to think of something to make her laugh.  I also notice that trait in several of my siblings.  We all do our best to make Mom laugh.

The Dear Lady has given birth to nine of us and yet she’s still living a long life.  I am convinced, her living past her 93rd birthday might have something to do with her love for life and all its humor.  I sincerely hope I am as fortunate as I get older.  In a few years, (for safety sake, I’ll say 15/20 years) when she is called Home to enjoy her much deserve Eternal Reward, we will no longer have her laughter to listen for, but can be consoled in knowing the occupants of Heaven will enjoy her laughter first hand.  For when she is laughing, she makes everyone else happy.

 

To Heidelberg and Back

12 Sunday Aug 2012

Posted by dknolte in Uncategorized

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I spent two weeks in Frankfurt Germany for training.  The classes were during the week leaving us the weekends to explore a very small part of the land of my ancestry, and do our best to avoid the pitfalls of debauchery.  The last Saturday, seven of us decided to take the train to Heidelberg for the day.  The seven included the wife of one and the girlfriend of another, thus keeping the conversations a little more refined.

We met at the Starbucks at the Frankfurt Hauptbahnhof,- Train Station (below) and boarded the train about 10 in the morning and arrived about noon. Our one main goal is to see the famous Heidelberg castle which is in ruins, so we set out on foot in that direction.  That’s the best way to see many places in the world: on foot.   Below are some images from the castle.

 Inside the castle is what remains of the palace. Notice the amazing sculptures.

Energy saving clock on the building.

This door was on one of the walls in the courtyard.

 Looking down on the village of Heidelberg from the castle.

 We found a place in the basement of the palace to sit and buy a beer.  Afterwards, as we headed back to the train station, we stopped at one of the many places outside to eat.  Seems to be the favorite pastime of the German people, sitting and eating.

More on Frankfurt later.  See ya then.  D.

 

 

 

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