{"id":426,"date":"2012-09-22T20:25:20","date_gmt":"2012-09-22T17:25:20","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.dknolte.com\/?p=426"},"modified":"2012-10-11T21:43:04","modified_gmt":"2012-10-11T18:43:04","slug":"the-battle-lines-have-been-drawn","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.dknolte.com\/?p=426","title":{"rendered":"The battle lines have been drawn …"},"content":{"rendered":"

… and the war is on!<\/strong><\/p>\n

T<\/strong>here are those who see us only as a source for theft, who will do what they can to steal from those of us who work hard for what we have.\u00a0 They are the ones who wish us harm and will smile at us while planning their next attack.<\/p>\n

I love my Saturday mornings, when I can sleep late and then sit out on the patio with my coffee and cinnamon roll.\u00a0 Afterwards, I will sit in the sun with my eyes closed, soaking in the sunshine.\u00a0 This morning, as I sat in the solitude, I heard a rustle in the trees.\u00a0 Opening my eyes, I quickly saw where branches were still moving, but nothing that caused it.\u00a0 Closed my eyes again and a minute later, more rustle.\u00a0 This time I was quick enough, and saw that my greatest fear has been realized.\u00a0 The monkeys have returned.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>When we first arrived in Addis, one of the first Saturday mornings we sat outside with our coffee and breakfast, we had the little critters show up.\u00a0 We found them cute and lovable, even getting them to feed out of our hands.\u00a0 If you remember the pictures we posted of Terese feeding one.\u00a0 While they gathered around to welcome us to the neighborhood, others ran through the flower beds eating anything that was not green, while the younger ones jump in and out of the trees.\u00a0 We did notice there was unusual commotion elsewhere in the yard, but it wasn\u2019t until they moved on, did we notice the debauchery that had taken place in our yard.\u00a0 Terese felt bad Monday morning when Michael, the gardener showed up and almost fainted at what was left of his garden.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>I have to admit, there was a bit of guilt at letting this happen, because Michael is very proud of his work, as he should be.\u00a0\u00a0 I don\u2019t remember if I blamed it on Terese, or she blamed it on me, but it was at this time we realized, the monkeys are no longer welcomed in our yard.<\/p>\n

If one or two comes to our yard and stays high up in the tree eating the seeds that grow on it, it would be no problem.\u00a0 But if one or two show up, others follow and before you know it, they are having a block party.\u00a0 They are not dumb.\u00a0 They have seen us go in and out of our house, and realize the handle on the door has something to do with opening it.\u00a0 One had the audacity to come into our kitchen while Terese was doing dishes and attempt to eat an apple, still wrapped in cellophane, knocking over the trashcan in the process.<\/p>\n

Last year when I battled these little degenerates, I first tried using the water hose to drive them away.\u00a0 The only place it drove them was higher in the trees.\u00a0 They would go just beyond the water stream and no further, as if they wanted to feel the mist on a hot day.\u00a0 Soon I found a water squirter in Michael\u2019s room.\u00a0 One of these things you fill with water and press the plunger.\u00a0 It sent water higher, but still not enough.\u00a0 In the meantime, Shawn, the gardener next door would just throw rocks at them.\u00a0 I tried that, but it just gave the idiots something to laugh about.\u00a0 I may even have heard a snicker from my wife.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>Notice the difference in this picture from the ones above.\u00a0 Here she’s trying to kill a monkey.<\/p>\n

It just got worse.\u00a0 The more I battled them, the more would show up.\u00a0 It\u2019s as if one ran back to the others and said, \u201cHey guys, the idiot with the water hose wants to play with us again!!\u201d\u00a0 They stayed just out of reach and at times would hunker down behind the back wall of the yard, and send one of the youngest ones to slowly raise its head above the wall to see if I was still there.\u00a0 If I felt they were all gone, or if I went back inside to get more coffee, when I returned, the whole troop would be bouncing through the trees again.<\/p>\n

So, I knew something else had to be used.\u00a0 I contacted some people back in the States and had a secret weapon sent to me.\u00a0 It had to be disassemble to make it unrecognizable by any Government inspector, and shipped to me in three separate containers.\u00a0 After weeks of anticipation, the weaponry finally arrived.\u00a0 I quickly hid in the back room giggling while assembling the slingshot.\u00a0 I knew I had \u2018em now!<\/p>\n

Okay, now I am a humanitarian of sorts.\u00a0 At that time, I didn\u2019t really want to kill the little bastards, just drive them away.\u00a0 So I ordered some rock salt to use as ammo, just in case any of the projectiles gets under their skin, it wouldn\u2019t cause an infection.\u00a0 But it took only a few shots to realize it disperses too quickly and will not get to the target.\u00a0 So I came up with an excellent idea, if I say so myself.\u00a0 One word – paintball<\/em>.\u00a0 These are the little balls with paint inside that are used all over the country in mock battles.\u00a0 They are usually shot with paintball guns using highly compressed air.\u00a0 I ordered a small pack of 50 caliber paintballs as a test.\u00a0 This Saturday morning, I had my opportunity to test them.<\/p>\n

So, as I mentioned above, the monkeys have returned.\u00a0 I quickly headed in the house, grabbed the weapon and ammo, and went out onto one of the upper balconies.\u00a0 One lone critter climbed up high in a tree, and sat in a clearing.\u00a0 I pulled back the strong elastic tubing of the weapon, aimed and released.\u00a0 In less than a heartbeat, the yellow paintball pierced through the air and hit the little sucker right in the chest!\u00a0 It evidently did not break, probably due to the thick fur as I heard the ball fall to the roof of the little building below and roll away.\u00a0 But I know it stung, as the monkey yelled out, \u201cHoly bananas!\u201d and quickly disappeared down and did not return.\u00a0 Not even to see what the heck happened like they normally would.<\/p>\n

Normally when I try to fight them, many show up to watch the fiasco, but it was about 5 minutes before any of them came around.\u00a0 I\u2019m thinking the one I hit ran back to the others saying, \u201cHey, don\u2019t go in that tree over there, because if you do your chest will hurt like hell!\u201d<\/p>\n

Several things have come out of this.<\/p>\n

    \n
  1. The monkeys came<\/li>\n
  2. The monkeys were driven away.<\/li>\n
  3. The monkeys will return.<\/li>\n
  4. … and I will be ready.<\/li>\n
  5. As I type this, it is now Dwaine: 1, and Monkeys: 0.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

    … and the war is on! There are those who see us only as a source for theft, who will …<\/p>\n

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